So I'm on my period...again! Why does this thing keep coming? Anyway, every month I ovulate then get my period and every time I spend a week and a half day dreaming about some young freak that my ovaries choose to obsess about. Natural? not sure. Crazy? Maybe. Totally fun? Absolutely. Every cycle I go through this teenage phase where I daydream as if I were 16. It used to be Jared Leto. If you're a Gen X'er, you'll remember Jordan Catalano from my "My So Called Life". So hot. He's the freak of a tiny man that every woman fantasizes about "Fifty Shades of Grey" style. Terrible segue but....then my little girl got into a Disney movie that I will not name but I will say that if you check out Schesendants 2 to check out Captain Hooks son who we'll call Shmarry. At the ripe age of 41, I now understand the full feeling of being a cougar.
**Disclaimer** I want to continue after stating that I am happily married and love my handsome, sexy, lumber jack of a husband.
So continuing onto my my nutty cycle....
I am on my period and now can't seem to stop thinking about this young guy who has no idea that there is a 41 year old woman daydreaming about his amazing, umm, skills? Is this normal? Am I the ONLY woman in America who has a young someone that pops into the picture only during ovulation and period? This never happened until I hit my 40th year of life. There are so many hormones roaming now I can hardly keep up. Why do we go so crazy with these damn times? Not just during these hormonal times of the month but after we turn 40? I have no control over what pops into my mind. There are so many thoughts that my previous prudish self would've blushed at.
After much thought and consideration, I'm starting to think fuck it. Why shy away from it? Why not embrace the wild women that peaks out from time to time asking to be let free? When I started typing I thought this would be a post about my hormones and fantasies to see if I was the only one. What this is turning out to be is a post about letting down my hair and living my life. Why have I never embraced this side of me that is now apparent has always been there but too scared to show her face? As a woman I was raised to believe that sex was shameful and that you would go to hell for it. Fast forward to now where it's all I can think about and surely this is more normal than originally I was raised to believe. Why do we torture ourselves into forcing our sexuality into the closet until we go out for date night with our life partners and claim toohave too much to drink?
This is me now saying that as women, we were programmed to be alive and sexual. We were made to be BEAUTIFUL and SEXUAL and POWERFUL!!! We are powerful DAMN IT! Embrace it ladies. We spend our days wearing bras that we hate, clothes that we THINK we should wear, and cover up the parts of us that make OTHERS comfortable. I for one am embracing my inner gypsy and have found that going bra less makes me feel free and comfortable. I love it. If it's you, do it? If it's not, great. Whatever YOU is, please embrace it. You deserve to live free in life, sexuality and in love. Not to sound cliche but "DO YOU BOO".