I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.
Love because I enjoy still feeling a part of the daily lives of my family & friends (especially now that we live 740 miles away). I get to see pictures of my nephews playing soccer, my niece graduating Kindergarten, the fabulous culinary deliciousness prepared by a friend...and that Chewbacca video...c'mon. That's just feel good, laugh out loud after a long day with 3 kids goodness.
Hate because I fall into the pit of comparison WAY more than I'd like to. Well-behaved children, perfect marriages, exotic vacations. #blessed #WTF
But then hubby posted about our first family boating experience: "Friday funday! Had a blast! Kids loved the beach I found!" And he posted 14 pictures of the five of us smiling, swimming, and having fun. But let me tell y'all something - it was a lie. Well, maybe more like a half-truth. There was a lot more frowning, frustration, and yelling (Yes, I'm a self-admitted yeller. I hate it, but it's the truth).
So here's the reality:
Getting to this spot was WORK. The boat wouldn't start after we put it in the water. Hubby was sweating profusely (and it wasn't because of the Carolina sun) and it took EVERYTHING in my soul not to whip out every sarcastic, passive-aggressive, mean comment I had been cleverly creating as I listened to the motor stall over and over and over...
Hanging out at this little island was definitely the best part of our little boating expedition. What a better way to share this moment than with a summery, sun-kissed selfie? Honestly. I would have much rather skipped the moment all together. I wanted to be at home, lazily sprawled on the couch, binging on Netflix, pizza, and wine because I was utterly exhausted (not the kind of exhausted when you just want to go to sleep, the kind of exhausted when you just want to cry ) from my first full work week (I haven't worked full time in over 3 years), sleepless nights with a teething 16 month old, and missing my two sisters back in NY. But big girls don't cry. We take selfies.
And ask our kids to smile too. As we headed back to the dock, the beloved pink noodle flew off the back of the boat and Bubba sobbed like we had just thrown away all of his beloved dinosaurs. I mean, you would have thought I had just told him that he could never eat hotdogs again.
I'm not kidding you, it took about 15 minutes of going around and around that dang noodle before hubby could get it back on the boat. That noodle was called several colorful names - none which included pink.
...and then it fell out again. Rinse and repeat.
But here's the thing. There was alot of bad. ALOT. But there were also moments of pure joy. My problem was my perspective. I focus, like a ninja, on the bad.
There was the smell of sunscreen on the baby's hair, the new freckles on KK's nose, the unadulterated laughter that made the night feel electric and magical. There was that unforgettable, heavenly feeling that loosely embraced us all night long. The feeling that we are right where we are supposed to be. That in this season of our lives there may be more mud than money, more dinosaurs than date nights (way more), more toilet training than travelling and that's all ok.
So, from my family to yours - here's to unfiltered, grainy, slightly blurry pictures. Embrace the beautiful, messy chaos. It's life. Like it or not.